‘OTHERHOOD: NEW BOOK AIMS TO SMASH THE TABOO OF NOT BEING A MOTHER

By ‘OTHERHOOD | Posted:

30 Kiwis have bravely shared their stories about a topic that remains taboo: not being a mother. In ‘OTHERHOOD, an essay collection to be published by Massey University Press, the writers explore a diverse range of difficult, complicated, and sometimes joyful experiences.

Edited by local writers Alie Benge, Kathryn van Beek and Lil O’Brien, ‘OTHERHOODwill be stocked in bookstores around Aotearoa from 2024 - and the Boosted crowdfunding campaign launching today will ensure the contributors get paid.

“Thirty incredible stories written by some of Aotearoa’s most exciting writers have been selected to appear in the book - and we need help to pay them,” says Lil.

“Contributors include MP Golriz Ghahraman, Jackie Clarke from The Aunties, and Paula Morris, who is a legendary figure in the Aoteraoa literary scene. But we’re also stoked to publish some new and upcoming writers, some of whom have never been published before.

“We aim to raise $15K to pay the 30 writers $500 each for their mahi – and for their bravery in sharing their stories about a common experience that still doesn’t get talked about.”

Kathryn says that not being a mother can feel profoundly ‘othering’.

“Those of us without children are familiar with the insensitive comments,” she says.

“Even the question ‘Do you have kids?’ can be hard to answer – what do you say if you’ve been bereaved, or if you’re having a miscarriage? Often, it’s easier to be silent. ‘OTHERHOOD gives voice to those of us who aren’t mothers.”

Alie says care has been taken to ensure that the essays touch on joy as well as sorrow.

“The hilarious, heart-breaking and thought-provoking essays cover topics including religion, blended families, bereavement, queerness, foster care, disability, infertility, domestic violence, mental health, and freedom from social expectations,” she says.

“And some of the essays are about the joys of being a big DINK – Double Income, No Kids!”

People who contribute to the Boosted campaign can have their name included in the book, will receive a discount code once the book is published, and will be invited to the launch parties.

Donations can be made on the Boosted platform

CONTACT

For further media information contact Lil O’Brien: Ph 022 0300 558, Email otherhood.editors@gmail.com

Alie Benge

Alie is the Essays Editor for Takahē and has been published in The Spinoff, Turbine | Kapohau, Pantograph Punch, and more. Alie was joint winner of the 2017 Landfall Essay Competition. She holds a Master’s in Creative Writing from the IIML, and her debut essay collection, Ithaca, was published in 2023 with Te Herenga Waka University Press.

Kathryn van Beek

Kathryn is the 2023 University of Otago’s Robert Burns Fellow. Author of short story collection Pet and children’s books Bruce Finds A Home and Bruce Goes Outside, Kathryn is also the winner of the Mindfood Short Story Competition and the Headland Prize. Her work has appeared in Overland, Takahē, Newsroom and The Spinoff, and she contributed to the Misconceptions web series. Kathryn was the driving force behind the change to the Holiday’s Act that provides bereavement leave for miscarriage.

Lil O’Brien

Lil is the author of memoir Not That I'd Kiss a Girl, published in 2020 by Allen & Unwin. She’s an award-winning copywriter by day, has been published in The Spinoff, Takahē and more. Lil is currently working on the screenplay of Not That I’d Kiss A Girl with South Pacific Pictures.

“I believe the book will start a conversation that will begin chasing away the shame, stigma, and expectation put on women and gender diverse people who exercise—or don’t get to exercise—reproductive choice”
Catherine Woulfe, Editor of New Zealand Geographic

“This collection is one that made me wonder how it didn’t already exist. There is so much complexity, and so much breadth of experience, within the subject of child-free adulthood… The editors driving the project are excellent: I have worked with Lil O’Brien, Kathryn van Beek and Alie Benge and know they are all extremely professional, empathetic and careful writers.”
Claire Mabey, Spinoff Books Editor, founder of Verb Wellington

“There is enormous shame and stigma still around women choosing not to become parents and very little support – emotionally and with permanent birth control – for those who don’t. A collection of essays around this topic is something I’ve never seen before and is something that’s desperately needed.”
Emily Writes, editor of Spinoff Parents, author of ‘Rants in the Dark’

“I am confident that this book will not only provide a forum for reader discussion, but also offer solace and hope to many women who find themselves feeling other or somehow lesser.”
Dr Majella Cullinane, author and writing teacher